List of the Dead
by Mistrus
Summary: "The window tells lies, Professor. It talks of peace and serenity but you know, in your heart, that people will never have that level of peace. That we don't deserve it. All we deserve, is to end our pitiful suffering now and be done with it."


See I told you! More one shots! this one is a good one but it particularily makes no sense so don't worry if you don't get it. I'll explain if you send me a review!

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**- I own nothing about Harry Potter

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**List of the Dead**

**By Mistrus**

Severus Snape wandered through the corridors at Hogwarts. He couldn't sleep, the nightmares plagued him every time he closed his eyes. Scenes of the war, of the dead, of his _own_ death. He knew he had gotten lucky. He knew someone had the heart to safe him, to bring him back from those who died, but he did not know who. He barely remembered waking up in the Shrieking Shack with drying blood on his robes and on the floor. He barely remembered stumbling back to the castle and into his quarters. But he did remember waking up and looking in the mirror to see the pink, jagged, and raised scar on his neck. A scar courtesy of Nagini.

He did not regret living. He learned that life was a precious gift that could be taken so easily by another. A gift to be cherished and used to the fullest but he had also learned that life could be given. That certain people pushed back the past and the memories to give another life. Like the person who saved him. Severus knew he was always so quick to judge people to be dunderheads or bleeding hearts, but this one person who saved him. He could not judge them for their actions. They_ chose _to give him life. They_ chose _to fight for him. It was a choice they made and one Severus was eternally grateful for.

Severus let out a deep sigh. Students rarely came out this time of night. Wandering the corridors in the faint hopes of catching a wayward student was a foolish idea. But he needed to do something to keep the nightmares from creeping up to him from the shadows. He turned the corner and the darkness seeped into his skin, but this corridor wasn't as dark as those he had wandered through previously. This was the corridor with the wide window. The window was nearly ten feet tall and stretched another twenty. The frame started just below the stone floor that rested three stories up. It was the beautiful picturesque window that one could see the lake from. He knew the view from deep in his heart. He would go there every so often and watched the moonlight glint off the still lake.

He ached to see that peaceful scene again and his pace quickened. He needed to believe that something could be peaceful while his mind warred with its self. His eyes focused on the next turn, the next turn towards the beautiful scene that awaited him. He briskly turned the corner and froze. A small silhouette was outlined in front of the window. They wore a cloak and they seemed to be leaning their forehead against the glass. Severus frowned at the errant student before silently making his way towards them.

"It's a lie, Professor." The voice was soft and curiously empty. He froze and the person chuckled. "I heard you turn the corner. I don't think I could ever mistake the sound of your robes rustling as they billow behind you." Their hand moved upwards and gently touched the window.

"The window tells lies, Professor. It talks of peace and serenity but you know, in your heart, that people will never have that level of peace. That we don't _deserve_ it. All we deserve, is to end our pitiful suffering now and be done with it." The voice gave a soft scoff. "Every one of us, except you, Professor. Twenty years with two masters, both manipulative, both deadly. Serving both in silence, but I bet you screamed on the inside for it to stop, for it to all go away." Severus let out a hiss of anger and slowly made his way towards the figure once again.

"You know nothing." His voice was deceptively soft and the figure did not react.

"I know it, because I could hear your pleas, I could see them in your eyes. That's why I decided whether you should live, instead of die." The voice was recognizably female and Severus tilted his head. The woman was wrapped up in a thin blanket not a cloak.

"Are you the one who saved me?" His tone had turned curious and the figure tilted their head to the side, pressing their cheek against the window pane.

"I could have been the one. But why you? There were so many others. Tonks, Remus, Colin, Fred, students who never had a chance to grow up." Another mirthless laugh was sounded. "But not one of them would have respected the gift I would give. Not one would know the sacrifices that I made." The hand on the window turned into a tight fist. "Not one would have thought twice about the mysterious person who gave up everything to give them life." The fist slowly bumped against the window.

"You cannot give a life without having one taken away. You cannot save a life without having one other person die. Balance. It is all about balance, Professor. You cannot take something without giving in return. People try but they always end up giving." The voice was tearful as the person bumped their fist against the window pane once more. Severus moved to stand beside them. "I gave you your life and Bellatrix took mine." Severus slowly looked at the ghost beside him. Wide tear filled eyes looked up at him. Eyes that used to be brown were now a pearly faded grey.

"Do you hate me for it?" Ghostly tears ran down her face. He could only guess guilt had bound her to this world. He slowly shook his head.

"Life is precious, Miss Granger. You gave me the most beautiful gift of all. You didn't just give me my life, you gave me yours as well." He watched as she looked out the window. There were a few moments of silence.

"Is it bad of me to want to live again? To want to feel something other than this guilt?" Her cool breath frosted the glass.

"It is not. You weren't meant to die. You had so much life left in you." He followed her gaze to look at the shimmering lake.

"All that life. Gone. It slipped through my hands like water and blew away like smoke." Her voice took on a rather dead quality that made Severus shiver. He pulled a small, smoky bottle from his pocket and stared at it. The small bottle didn't even garner a glance from Hermione. Her gaze focused on the still, peaceful lake outside.

"What if someone else caught it? What if they found the bits of life floating in the abyss? What if they called out to him, telling him to take them back?" He uncorked the bottle and slowly brought it to his lips.

"It wouldn't do any good. The life would belong to him to do with what he will. He could keep it, destroy it, send it to hell, or just give it away." Her pearly eyes were facing the window as Severus downed the contents of the bottle. His body instantly felt cramped as if another person had taken up residence underneath his skin.

"Yes, he could give it away. How are you feeling, Miss Granger? And I mean truly, how are you feeling?" His black eyes took her in as she shivered and brought her ghostly blanket closer.

"I feel so cold. Dead." Her unseeing tearful eyes seemed to look right through him.

"What do you want most, Hermione? Peace? Serenity? The things this window promise?" His voice was quiet and harsh and the ghost let out a low sob.

"I want to_ live_." The voice torn from her and Severus leaned toward her slightly, his skin itching like it wanted to burst. Faint, smoky tendrils seemed to move off of his body and towards hers. The tendrils murmured and urged without a voice. He was forced towards the ghostly visage of Hermione. She looked at him with wide tearful eyes as his body nearly touched hers. The tendrils wrapped around her, bringing her warmth and peace. Her usually light body was beginning to feel heavy as she looked up.

Severus looked down at her and slowly brought up his hands to touch her blanket covered upper arms. His hands sunk through the blanket but touched cold skin. Skin that felt like ice. Everything in his body felt like it was being pulled towards this small ghost as his lips descended towards hers. His thumbs brushed the cold skin, feeling the warmth of the tendrils sink into her body. His lips touched hers. They were like ice but he moved his lips over them expertly and felt the extra life he had taken, leave his body and enter her ghostly form as if drawn to her. She became more solid, more real. Her skin took on a warm pink hue and he could feel the blood rush through her veins once more. The hard ice of her lips melted and he teased the softness with his lips. She let out a gasp and he deepened the kiss, solidifying the connection between them.

He pulled back to watch the ghostly blanket fall through her body and sink into the floor. Her small hands grasped his robes and brought him down so she could kiss him once more. Her breath was warm and smelled sweet. Her skin was bare and pimpling against the cold. Severus slowly took off his outer robes and settled them on her shoulders. Her wide brown eyes looked up at him as she self-consciously clutched at the robes, knowing she wore nothing beneath them.

"What did you do?" Her voice was warm. Alive. Severus smirked.

"I gave away a life." He kissed her forehead gently before wrapping his left arm around her shoulder and leading her back through the dark corridors. "You gave me something precious, Hermione. I wasn't going to just let that go. I wasn't just going to forget it." They walked in silence. Severus could not help but think of the solid body beneath his arm.

This witch had life left in her. She wasn't allowed to leave this earth because she wasn't truly dead. He held her life on the mortal plain, so she could not escape into the abyss. They reached his quarters and he slowly maneuvered her into the bedroom, where he sat her down on the bed. She was wide-eyed with shock as she looked at her graceful and lithe hands, looking at her delicate wrist where her pulse danced beneath her skin

"Why would Death let me live?" Her voice was questioning as she looked at him. Severus did not answer right away as he transfigured one of his dress shirts into a t-shirt.

"Because you were not meant to die. Your name was not on his list of the dead." His voice was low as he transfigured a pair of his pants into sleepwear shorts. He froze when her small hand touched his shoulder. He turned slowly and pushed the transfigured sleepwear at her. He wanted her to keep her distance, _needed_ her to stay away. She looked from the clothes back to him before letting his robes drop off her shoulders. Severus looked at the wall above her curly head to keep his gaze from roaming over her body.

"Death didn't want me. Ron didn't want me. Victor didn't want me." Her pale hands removed the clothing from his hands and dumped them carelessly on the floor. Soft arms wrapped around his waist as she buried her face in his chest, wrinkling his crisp white shirt. "Why doesn't anyone want me?" Against his will, his arms wrapped around her. His hands touching the pale expanse of smooth, bare skin on her back.

"You were dead... there was nothing to want." He swallowed hard and looked down. Her brown eyes, that were full of tears, pleaded with him.

"Then make me feel alive again. Make me feel wanted." She looked beautiful in that instant. Her curls tumbled down her shoulders in bouncing waves and her chocolate brown eyes held every emotion. Her face was angelic and her lips were small and pert. How could he _not_ want her? She gave him life, gave him hope and a will to live. If he could give her the same, then everything would be fine in his world. He grasped her chin gently and kissed her soft lips.

"Is this what you want?" His voice was murmured and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Yes. Make me feel something, Severus. Make me real." She opened her mouth against his and he slipped inside to taste her. She tasted wild and sweet, Severus tightened his grip around her waist and moved them both slowly backwards. Her hands fumbled with the buttons on his shirt as she pressed against him. He let her wrestle the shirt off and he let it fall to the floor. Her warm hands explored his pale chest as he teased her lips. Her soft sighs brushed his ears as he kissed her neck. Exploring the soft white column with reverence. Her beautiful hands grasped at his back as she tilted her head backwards to give him more access.

Severus was careful in his exploration, he wanted her to sigh his name. To tremble with his slightest touch, wanted her to forget that everyone who loved her, had forgotten about her. He was slow and unhurried and her breath soon came in sharp little gasps. His hands slowly trailed down to the curve of her hip and she arched into him with a soft moan. His fingers danced up to the underside of her breast, where his knuckles grazed the pale flesh. She let out a harsh gasp and pulled him closer. But his hands retreated back to the curve of her hips. A low groan escaped the witch and Severus smirked against her collar bone. He kissed the soft flesh before he nipped it. He quickly soothed the sting with a swirl of his tongue.

"Severus." The name was gasped out as her hands moved to tangle in his hair. "Please, touch me. Show me I'm real." Severus pushed her backwards slightly and she fell onto his bed. He descended on her and kissed her deeply.

"I cannot show you that you are real, Hermione." Severus whispered the words against her lips and her back arched up towards him as she gave a small gasp. "But I can make you feel." Delicate hands ran over his chest and hooded chocolate brown eyes looked at him.

"Then make me feel, Severus." Her delicate hands reached around and clawed at his bare back. Severus let out a groan at the sting.

"Careful, witch." His voice was soft as he slowly kissed her collar bone. She groaned and arched up against him.

"Severus, please." Her voice was soft and pleading but Severus just continued to caress her sides and kiss her neck. "Please, do something." He kissed her gently.

"I'm not going to rush this, Hermione. I have to show you how much I care." He murmured the words on her mouth.

"I don't need to know, Severus. At least not now. We have the rest of our lives." A pretty smile lit up her face. "Thanks to you." Severus kissed her softly.

"Fine, Hermione." Severus sighed as he removed the rest of his clothes and kissed Hermione softly before exploring the rest of her body. His hands carefully cupped her breasts while he kissed the soft sweet skin gently. Hermione let out a gasp and her fingers wove through his hair.

"Severus!" Hermione's gasped his name as he showed her once against what it felt like to feel. The rest of the night went by with sharp gasps, murmurs, and soft moans as they reached completion again and again. Severus made sure she knew just how much he cared.

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The morning light fell across the bed and Severus blinked at the soft light. He curled his arm tighter around the warm witch who lay beside him.

"Sev-rus… Turn off the light. Too bright." Hermione mumbled it into his chest as she wiggled closer to him. He chuckled as his pale fingers traced patterns on her skin. Her skin was warm and Severus kissed the top of her head. Things would be difficult for them both. She would have to come to terms with not being merely an illusion of her former self and he would deal with the backlash from their relationship.

"How did you know, Severus?" Her question pulled him from his thoughts and Severus looked down at her.

"Hmmmm, love?" He kissed her forehead softly and she smiled at him, her small fingers tracing the same patterns on his chest that he had done on her arm.

"How did you know I was alive?" She nuzzled his pale skin with her nose as she waited for an answer.

"I had help. Someone showed me what was right in front of me." He brushed his hand down her bare back and she sighed with contentment at his answer. Her curiosity he knew would return and she would demand to know the full story. But Severus knew, that until then, both of them would be at peace with who they are.

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**Two Weeks Before**

"I need to account for all the spirits, ghosts and poltergeists in the school. Now where is the apparition of Miss Granger?" Severus scowled at the ghosts gathered. Nearly Headless Nick stepped forward.

"We are all accounted for. Every ghost, apparition, spirit, and poltergeist. We did as you asked, Professor Snape." The Ghost's pearly eyes looked at him with confusion. Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Everyone who lurks in the corridors? Where is everyone that died? I'm talking about Miss Granger." Severus's black eyes look in the Gryffindor ghost. The Ghost tilted his head slightly.

"Miss Granger is not dead. She's right there." Nick pointed to the large window that overlooked the lake and grounds. Severus turned his back to him. His eyes went wide as he looked at the pearly image of Miss Granger against the setting sun. His eyes fell to the ground where a long shadow fell from her form. He looked closer as her breath fogged up the window. His breath hitched and Nick shook his head.

"Honestly Professor, I thought you had eyes. As you can see, she's right there and no more dead than you are."

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Well? What you think? Good? Terrible? Terribly awesome? I should stop writing all together cause it stinks? Well to the people who choose the last one I am sorry to say that I will continue to write and post to my little hearts desire! lol leave a review and tell me what you think.


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